A Gent's Words of Comfort

Fair Reader,

My, how times have changed since we last spoke. Our economy is on the verge of collapse, my beloved Mets pathetically collapsed down the stretch, and now I - like so many of my other brothers in luxury - fear that our lifestyles will have to be paired down to the bare necessities. Duck breasts will cost forty quid, hair pomade will be priced similarly to one Gucci shoe, and I will be forced to trade in my Grey Goose vodka for Popov. My lord, we could very well be in for it.

Or could we? Does yesterday's ominous collapse in the markets mean that we're all becoming Okies? Well, considering that my beloved father, Allan the Gent, packed up all of his belongings into a pick-up truck and will soon be heading to California to look for work as a peach picker... possibly things are going a tad south.

A snapshot of AtG on his western roadtrip

Regardless if they are or not, one thing is for certain: We'll all be just fine. I remember a barber I used to see on Essex Road in London who would regale me with tales of his relatives. These relatives of his survived World War II as London was being shellacked by bombs. He would often say that his grandfather, who did not fight in the war and was in London at the time, often referred to that moment as the simplest he's ever lived. This was because no matter how dreary it got, his neighbors, friends, and even strangers were always quick to help one another out and to share whatever they had. Whale lard and crackers and tins of what have you were made available not just to one family but to all. Survival, I suppose, brings people closer together.

This is not to say we'll soon be forced to share tins of beans with forty other families and bathe in rivers. Things will right themselves out financially in a bit. It just means that buying a cashmere suit or a Fabergé egg will simply have to hold for the next few months. But I will say this, though: If I had a can of whale lard, I would happily share it with thee, friendly reader.

A presto,

EtG

Your Gent Has Returned

Fair Reader,

Sometimes a vacation requires complete absence from normal routines. In my case, it was a break from this spasmodic journal of mine, not to mention from cooking (although I did learn how to grill a lobster, see recipe below). In my brief repose, I encountered one article that I would like to share with you:

A) I saw this article on successful developers in Manhattan in a recent NY Post Page Six Magazine article on young developers. These two are currently re-doing a building on Park Avenue and own a slew of rentals throughout the city. Although one chap handles this interview with the appropriate restraint needed for such instances, the other decides to, well, come across like a rapper at a Tallahassee rap battle. Here is how he describes where his company stands at the moment:

“I have an amazing building going up, I have amazing chemistry with my girlfriend and my company is about to blow the f--k up."

A photo of the subject as he was being interviewed

Remember my old post on how you only have one chance to make a first impression? In the case of publicity, a subject who is being profiled for what is mostly a complimentary piece should choose his statements carefully. In this instance, I think the chap who said this showed rather poor form. Not many chaps - real estate chaps, especially - get recognized for their work in well-known publications while they are in their late twenties. It is an honor, in many ways. So, as one would do in an important job interview, one should carry himself as a humble and proper Gent. This bloke, sadly, decides to forgo that. This move was inadvisable and silly in every regard.

B) As mentioned earlier, I recently learned how to grill lobster during my brief vacation. Although this is a rather inhumane way of cooking lobster, the end result can be pretty delicious. Here's how you do it:

1) Heat up your grill. Take your lobster (at whatever size) and place it on its legs on a cutting board. Murder the lobsters - this is the inhumane part - by piercing a knife through the center of the back end of the eyes (careful, a lot of water may come out as a result). Immediately put the lobster and place it on its side on the hottest part of the grill. Grill for 3 minutes, then flip lobster on its other side and grill for a further three minutes. This will firm up the lobster's meat before you split it in half. Also, beware, but the lobster may still writhe as its being grilled during this stage of the recipe. I did warn you that this was inhumane.

2) Using a heavy and sharp knife, cut the lobster in half lengthwise, being careful not to lose any of the roe. Once you have finished, you can brush the lobster with olive oil, garlic butter, or anything you would prefer. Season and then place each half shell-side down on the grill. Cook for seven minutes, then flip over on to their flesh-sides and cook for one minute. Then serve.

This is a very tasty way to prepare the creature, although the ASPCA may put you on its watch list should you do it on a regular basis.

A presto and stay chivalrous,

EtG