You Shall Not Dunk Your Lass

Fair Reader,

You may be surprised to learn that EtG is a keen fan of "hip-hop." In fact, at one point I invested in a small rap label that featured a band whose name I am still unable to pronounce. My investment did permit me to fulfill a fantasy of being a guest MC, though.

I rapped under the name "Kid Chamoneezy"

Granted, there are some "rappers" out there whose misogynistic lyrics contradict the kind and genteel guidelines of this here online journal. Ghostface may rap about doing things to a lady that would be deemed illegal in several locations, even Phuket. Then again, "Supreme Clientele" is such a bloody good album that EtG can't hate on Ghost for rapping about stanky thangs.

For the most part, EtG prefers his rap like he prefers his women: intelligent, funny, and with a good beat that one could dance to. I believe that rap can be performed in a respectable and entertaining manner, as De La Soul has proven repeatedly in the past. Yet, there are some fools out there who think that ladies, with their bouncin' booties and whorin' hoochies, make for good marketing. My case in point:

Courtesy of MelDCole

Don't get me wrong, this is very funny, if not remarkably offensive. Besides, I don't think you could conceivably slam dunk a ho... possibly Victoria Beckham (BOOOO). It appears Top Dog has the hops and the sturdy back to execute a ho-slam, but why, pray tell, would he endeavor to do it? It's just silly. I haven't heard the album - although I hear Klondike Kat's got butter rhymes - but can imagine it's not poetry. A lady is not meant to be dunked, no matter how much of a "chickenhead" she may be. This is just wrong. For all you cats out there who are thinking of dropping your album soon: If you're going for a paramour look, why not fashion yourself after the original paramour himself?



Do you see Kane slam dunking ladies? Nah. He's simply enjoying their fruit plate. An OG - "Original Gent" - indeed.

Stay chivalrous,
EtG