Daily Musk: Goths

Fair Reader,

Although I don't necessarily agree with the ethos and fashion of the "Goth," I nevertheless appreciate their love of the outdoors. As this fabulous website "Goths in Hot Weather" will attest, Goths enjoy a good day out on the square as much as your average and normally dressed Nick and Nora.

Ciao,
EtG

Jordan and Thighs

Fair Reader,

Your Gentleman scribe is in a bit of a bind, for he does not know what to write about. Should I lash out on the gubernatorial caddishness that's taking place in South Carolina? On the shocking passing of Ed McMahon?

As my father, Allan the Gent, once said to me: When all else fails, write about Jordan and thighs.


Luckily for me, these two topics intertwined recently. Jordan, a.k.a Katie Price, was recently tossed by husband Peter Andre and left to mend her heart in her typically pikey way. That is, boffing Maltese blokes donned in Burberry swim thongs while in Ibiza, guzzling Smirnoff Ices, and of course, criticizing people's thighs. From The Times:

Last week, the Partying of Heartbreak was confined to this country, with wall-to-wall tabloid coverage of Jordan blearily knocking back brightly coloured drinks, and getting into forensically reported contretemps with fellow clubbers in the toilets (“I’m going to cut your f***ing face!” “You’ve got massively fat thighs!”

We all have our way of dealing with a recent smash-up. Jordan - thigh attacks aside - is doing it up the only way she knows fit. While some opt to spend their time mending broken hearts eating funyuns in the isolation of their flats, Jordan meets men who say "me, you, bathroom, sex, now, no?" and most likely accepts their invitations. And you know what? Bless. Then again, doing so while your ex-husband is at home with your four kids isn't entirely kosher (FYI, Jordan's maternal grandmother was Jewish. Bless). And blindly attacking other people's thighs is downright inhumane in EtG's book.

Nevertheless, if you are in grief and in need of a pick-me-up, go out and have a good time. And of course, don't be a complete slag. Be a lady when it comes to snogging and thigh-blasting.

Ciao for now,
EtG

Father's Day Gift Ideas from the Momentum of Failure

Chaps,

Father's Day is this coming Sunday. If you're like me, you usually take the occasion to help your dad pay off his gambling debts at the Casino de Monte-Carlo and his bar tab at Dorian's Red Hand.
But a Gentleman can always give his dad something much more meaningful and swanky.

One of my favorite new blogs right now is "The Momentum of Failure," which features a hip assembly of apparel ideas suitable for any Gent. Enclosed are a few suggestions from Herr Price of "Momentum", which I felt would tickle any father (not literally, you degenerate).

If your dad needs a new wallet

Jack Spade Twill Happy Fathers Day Wallet


Herr Price writes:
When I got my first Jack Spade bag, I thought I was one urbane mothereffer. I flaunted that thing with a cocky strut and more self-confidence than the world’s strongest man. That was until I went to NYC for the first time and saw how way more chic everyone was than me. Maybe dad can have the same fleeting feeling of “coolness” with a Jack Spade Wallet ($95). I just don’t think he cares for such nonsense.

If you have the duckets to splurge on your Father... of if you still want to thank him for paying for your barrister for when you were tried for "accidentally" stalking Katherine Helmond.

Billykirk Overnight Travel Bag
Herr Price (of Denver) writes:
Okay so last night was a whole slew of fun, but one of the best parts about a Red Rocks event is watching the hippies cart in bags full of crap for the night’s festivities. Last night I swear that these three dirtballs brought their laundry. Seriously, they had 4 trash bags full of stuff, PLUS what looked like the cushions from their couch. Gross, man. What happened to packing a simple Overnight-sized Bag ($345) with a thermos, a small padded seat, some snacks, and maybe a light jacket? Come on people. Have a little class.

If your dad either a) likes to drink or b) has been reading Blood Meridian and fancies himself a scalphunter.

Stallion Tequila Herr Price writes:
I’ve been trying to get better about not going to the grocery store on the daily, but it’s proving a futile effort at the moment. I find something calming walking up and down the aisles. Oh well. It’s not that big of a deal. The real danger lies when I go to Argonaut and start browsing the boxed wine and tequila sections. I may go with a $10 box of Vella before I splurge on Stallion Tequila ($68), but the day that happens is coming closer and closer. I’ve gotta think about possibly maybe perhaps curbing this thing…

If your dad is a true Gent and is staunchly against this "No Tie to the Workplace" bollox that's all the rage nowadays.

Raw Silk Ties From JPress
Herr Price writes (NOTE the classy shout-out):
In a couple of days, my newest and I’ve gotta say classiest friend, Ed The Gent, and I will be working on a collaboration of what a gentleman should own in the coming Summer months. In cooking up my list, something from JPress was undoubtadly going to slip on there. Whether it be these Raw Silk Ties ($52) or another of their phenomenal items is still up in the air, but something, some..THING, will get on there. Stay tuned.

For the dad who likes to grill and eat pizza.

Mario Batali Chianti Red Pizza Stone

Herr Price writes:
My mom had never heard of grilled pizza before this past weekend. I have only had it once, but it’s really good and I’ve been meaning to make it again. With Father’s Day coming this NEXT weekend (I thought it was yesterday, and I was wrong), I’m thinking of either making it for the pops or snagging him his own Pizza Stone ($100) so he can make it for the family anytime he wants.

Other ideas from the Momentum of Failure:
J Press Greenbrier Shave Cream

Helly Hansen Duffel Bag

Sperry Top-Sider Bahama Chukka

Bobby Jones Striped Ribbon Strap Watches

I trust these suggestions will give you the urge to get your Father a decent gift. Or, at the very least, you would remember to send him a Happy Father's Day card.

Enjoy the holiday, and stay chivalrous.
EtG

Daily Musk

One reason why a Gent favors the Scotch house:

Daily musk: You sure you want to be a Gent?

From George Bernard Shaw:

“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.”

Daily Musk: When things go apesh*te

From EtG:

When life hands you lemons, you go to the DMV to replace your lost driver's license, call the MTA to replace your missing metrocard, file a police report at your local precinct, and then venture to the nearest scotch house for spirits and companions of ill repute.

In short: I lost my bloody license, metrocard, and a $20 while jogging this morning. The scotch house beckons.

Have a chivalrous weekend,
EtG

For those entering the Gentforce

Fair Reader,

Once acceptable, now gay.

Graduation time has ended. Scores of young Gents will leave their former lives of stoned Madden games, drunken handjobs and triple-kisses in their provincial college towns for their new jobs in sprawling metropolises (if they were hired). Will these young Gents give up easy hook-ups and Popov boat races for mature courtship and tumblers of Macallan? Not immediately. But for those young Gents who wonder what are the bare necessities one needs when entering the Gentforce, I have these simple suggestions:

1) A proper two-button suit. Either solid navy, navy with pinstripes, or gray. Light enough material so that it can be worn year-round - like a simple Italian wool. Trousers should be tailored so that the fabric of your pants legs don't bunch up by your ankles. Jacket should have a firm hug over your torso. A young Gent must look smart in both work and play and should never be without a suit, especially as he enters the real world. To those Gents who have little cash to spend, H&M makes a sharp suit of many styles that costs under $300.

Over time, a Gent should always work towards dressing like this.

2) A proper writing instrument. Five years ago, when I left the old country (London) for NYC, I was given a silver Cross pen by my squash competitor as a farewell gift. The pen was engraved with the name "SQUASHBOY," a nod to my pathetically infantile talents on the squash court. I still use this pen to this day, and insist on putting it into my breast pocket whenever I wear a jacket or suit. A young Gent will need a pen for the many professional and personal endeavors that await him, from when he signs his first lease, his first plea bargain, but not his first bosom (sharpies are better-suited for those). Cross, montblanc, and Faber-Castell make pens that cost a mighty dollar, but will last you for a decade.

3) A proper white handkerchief. Can be used as a pocket-square in your suit or as a napkin for a lass whose heart has just been broken (hopefully not by you). It's a classic addition to any Gent's daily wear.

There, there, girl.

4) A proper bottle of cologne. No body sprays, body shots, or anything associated with Axe. Gents wear classic scents. Polo, Tiffany and Co., Drakaar Noir, all perfectly acceptable. Should be worn lightly. A Gent's scent is subtle, not forced, and always unmistakable.

5) A proper pair of running shoes. A Gent must always stay in shape.

6) A proper set of manners. Always look into a person's eyes as you shake their hand, enunciate your name and follow it with a smile. Eat slowly and carefully when on dates. Remember to return emails and phone calls in a prompt matter. Always bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party and a six-pack of beer to a house party (a bottle of scotch to a bachelor party). Be slow and steady when courting a lady. You don't have to win her over in one evening. Just be decent, presentable and genteel. Many people will appreciate you for it.

These are just a few tips to start out with. A Gent doesn't become a Gent in an instant, but over years of adulthood. The joys and woes of work and love is what makes a Gent (although a little bit of cash never hurts).

A presto and good luck,
EtG

Daily Musk: Finances

From VonKleinschmidt.

"(VonKleinschmidt) has spent 90% of all his money on women and wine and absolutely wasted the rest."

Gent-le Dose: Le Beach

Today's dose comes from EtG (I have misplaced my J Crew book of man wisdom):

"There's nothing better than the musty smell of the sea in the early hours of a summer morning - that and boom-boom on the beach."

Ciao,
EtG

Strong Cad Move

Fair Reader,

Naughty Auder, here seen fondling man-bosom

It would be unlike EtG to commend someone for acting like a complete scoundrel in a highly public fashion. However, this was so bloody audacious - not to mention funny.

From today's Page 6:

MICHEL AUDER THROWS BUBBLY TANTRUM
FRENCH-born video artist Michel Auder needs to cool the attitude. Auder, who was once married to Andy Warhol muse Viva Superstar and later married (and divorced) artist Cindy Sherman, was at S magazine's party at Kowloon lounge in TriBeCa, where he ordered bottles of champagne from the waitress and poured them on members of his own party. After being handed a $500 bill for the booze, Auder started screaming at the waitress, "I do not speak English! . . . Do you know who I am? . . . Do not make me go crazy," before storming off without paying. A spokesman for the magazine declined to comment.

Strong move - pouring $500 worth of champers on your party guests and then feigning foreign ignorance once the bill arrives. You, sir, are a noble scoundrel.

More anon,
EtG

Gent-le Dose: Scotch

Once again, from J Crew's

"A Man should know his capacity for single malt scotch."

Perhaps the Argentine Jesus should have taken note?

Shot of Gent (a.ka. "Gent-le Dose," "Daily Musk," "Ed-ification," etc

Fair Reader,

Some of my esteemed Gent friends have sent in recommendations via twitter on how to title this newfangled feature. "Gent-le Dose," "Daily Musk," and "Ed-ification" were just some of them. I will settle on a name soon - not that you should care - in the meantime, here is your daily "shot":

From, admittedly, J Crew's "What a Man Should Know, Volume 1."
"A Man Should know how to salt his conversation.
With the occasional inscrutable word. You might try ferrous, egregious, or omphalic."

Or, as it is said in "The Wanderers":
"Them White Boys here, they's getting obstreperous."

Daily Gent Shot

From the VMI's Code of the Gentleman:

"A Gentleman does not speak more than casually about his girlfriend."

Whoops: